Our FAQS Page
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Is this all legal?
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Laws are different everywhere so you will need to check for yourself that what you want to do or say is acceptable where you are. It should only take a couple of minutes online searching. It may not be acceptable, for example to pop some dynamite into your bottom and blow yourself up in a quarry.
How do I let someone know I've dedicated a part of my wake to them?
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When you're logged in, click on the 'Friends' button on the left hand menu, then click on the 'Tell a Friend' button. This will display a form for you to enter the email address of your friend. Complete the form and click send and they'll be informed of your dedication to them.
How do I start using Dance On My Grave?
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After registration, click on My Wishes - which is the gateway to planning every detail of your illness, dying, death, wake and memorial. There is also a section for compiling your Will.
What happens if someone tries to hack into my information?
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We take security very seriously indeed and your Wishes are protected using multiple safeguards. You will also nominate at least two Guardians who together, not separately, will be able to finally release your chosen information. But even NASA's system isn't infallible. If you are really concerned, we recommend you print out the most up to date My Wishes, sign it in front of two witnesses , get them to sign it, then leave it in a safe place; maybe even with your bank or solicitor.
What happens to my page when I die?
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When your Guardians release your wishes, Dance On My Grave will move you to a memorial site. Contact us if you want a shrine building for yourself or your loved ones.
What happens to our complaints or suggestions?
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Silly ones will be either jeered at, or incorporated into the site. Complaints will be taken seriously and we'll try our hardest to make this site safe and trusted and lovely.
How do I change/update my personal details?
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When you've Logged In, go to the top right of the Home page and click on "My Details". A new page will appear showing your current details, and here you can add to or change them.
What is DJ Your Own Wake?
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This is where you list the music you want playing at your Wake. Each title can be dedicated to someone, and you can make a link to an online video, in such as You Tube - to make sure you get the version you prefer. Obviously, nothing will matter to you on the night, but it gives you a chance to scupper the DJ's own appalling tastes. Your chosen Friends can view your list, and leave comments.
What are Friends?
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These are the people you choose to allow to view some or all of your details. You can have as many Friends as you wish.
What Are Guardians?
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Guardians are people you choose who see that your online wishes are carried out, or brought to the attention of those dealing with your funeral. Choose two or more, and make sure they are trusted and responsible.
When you pass away it is the guardian's job to notify Dance On My Grave. They do so by using the link in the email they received when they became your guardian. When at least two guardians have notified us, your last wishes are released to all of your guardians 4 hours later.
Why is the text animation on the front page not working?
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The Dance on My Grave home page uses Adobe Flash for its animated scrolling text. If there are problems with the animation it is possible you are not using the most up to date version of the Flash Player. We recommend downloading the latest version of the Flash Player for your browser. See the Adobe Flash Home Page for more details.
Further information is available on the following link:
The Adobe Flash Home Page
Why is Dance on My Grave not displaying content correctly in my internet browser?
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Dance On My Grave has been tested on Internet Explorer versions 7 and 8, Firefox versions 3 and 4, Safari version 11 and Google Chrome version 9.
Browser updates are being released constantly and it could be you are not using the most recent updates for your browser or using a version which is not supported by Dance On My Grave. Please ensure that you are using the latest version available for the operating system you are using, and that the latest updates are installed.
How do I Invite a Friend?
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After you've logged in
Click the Friends button
Click the Find a Friend button
Type in their name and Click Search (don't be too specific here at first .If your friend's name is Justin Farquhar Timothy de' Oberon, just type "Justin" at first,,
and then add the other bits, one at a time.)
If they are found, click on Invite a Friend.
If they are not found
Go back to the previous Page
Click the Invite a Friend button
Enter their names and email address
They will be sent an email inviting them to join Dance On My Grave
Once they've joined, find them the same way as before and click on Invite a Friend
Why are some parts of the site not translated into my chosen language?
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Languages are extremely complex, and no machine translation program is yet good enough to trust for any serious or legal use, as incorrect meanings can be applied to words or phrases. It is important that you check for yourself or use a human translator for any serious output.
New FAQ Question
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When I close the PDF window using the the top-right X, the site closes as well.
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This depends on how you have your browser set up. You can choose to have your browser open each new page either in a New Tab or in a New Window. If the PDF opens in a New Window, then clicking the top-right X will only close the PDF, and the DanceOnMyGrave page will be revealed again. However, if your browser opens new pages in a New Tab, then to make DanceOnMyGrave reappear you must only close the PDF Tab, or click on the DanceOnMyGrave Tab. Clicking the top-right X now will close both (or all) tabs. This applies to all websites and pages. To open a previous tab, click on its label, to close an individual tab, right-click its label, and choose, "Close Tab".
Sometimes previous tabs can get lost amongst all the text and buttons and labels at the top of the browser window. There is a picture in the Gallery which shows you where to find the DanceOnMyGrave and Pdf tabs.
When I write my will, is it automatically hidden?
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Yes. If you want to share your will with friends, click on the share will option below your will and select which friends to share with.
What information should my living will contain?
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Where would you like to be cared for? Home, Hospice, Hospital. Private/NHS.
What would give you most comfort? What kind of environment e.g. music, tv, radio, visits from masseur/healer/clergy/guru. Essential oil burner, and which oil.
What do you feel will be important to you in your final days? Peace and quiet/champagne and cigarettes. Solitude or raves.
Who would you like to be with you?
Would you like spiritual support?
Would you want your life to be prolonged as long as possible within generally accepted medical standards?
In which circumstances would you not want your life prolonging? e.g. if you develop a
condition that will decline into a persistent comatose state from which there is no reasonable expectation of regaining consciousness; or a persistent vegetative state from which there is no reasonable expectation of regaining cognitive function.
Which life saving treatments do you wish to be used or withheld or withdrawn. e.g. if you can no longer eat or drink, do you want to be fed by tube?
Do you wish to be treated with antibiotics if your medical team thinks such treatment appropriate?
Do you want maximum pain relief knowing that it may hasten death?
Do you want a ventilator or other artificial respiration support to be used to ensure you continue breathing if your medical team think this is appropriate?
Do you wish to donate all or some of your organs and tissue for the benefit of others after your death?
Do you wish your organs to be used for medical or scientific research?
Remember, you have a legal right to refuse medical and surgical treatments even if your life is put at risk by so doing
What follows is for information only, and users of this website should check the laws, requirements and regulations which exist in their part of the world. To avoid confusion, and to ensure their wishes are carried out, it is strongly advised that users check the definitions and guidance available online for the conditions and treatments available. It is also advisable to keep yourself up to date as there may well have been progress made in care and treatments.
Living Wills
In the UK The Mental Capacity Act 2005, refers to these as Advance Decisions, they may be known as Advance Statements,or Advance Directives.
This Act states that adults of 18 years or over, who understand the decision they are making (i.e have “capacity”) have the legal right to refuse treatment, even if it results in their death.
These are further requirements for refusing treatments and the Advance Decision will be invalid if they are not met:
Specify the treatments to be refused ( this may be expressed in layman's terms)
The person's wishes must be in writing; be signed by them in the presence of a witness; be signed by the witness, in the presence of the patient.
This should be verified with a statement to the effect that the Advance Decision should apply
even if life is at risk.
Keep the Advance Decision updated, as a change in your circumstances may invalidate it
Lasting Powers of Attorney (LPA)
Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) must be drawn up under the provisions of the Mental Capacity Act and is a legal process which will require the services of a solicitor.
LPA allows a person (described in the Act as a 'donor') to appoint another person (an 'attorney') to make decisions for them if they lose capacity to do so in the future. A “donor” must provide a written signed and witnessed statement giving their “attorney” the power to give or refuse consent to life sustaining treatment.,
The attorney will not have the power to give or refuse consent to any treatment named in the Advance Decision unless the donor has given them specific power to do so.
The Advance Decision should contain the following information
Name
Address
Date of Birth
Telephone Number
A statement that these are your decisions about your health care should you be unable to consent to treatment.
It should describe the specific circumstances, and the treatments for physical and mental illness, for which you want to make wishes known.
It should include which treatments you wish to refuse “even if my life is at risk”
e.g. restarting the heart or breathing; assisted ventilation, including by use of a machine; being given food or water by any other route than by mouth, etc.
Sign and date it in the presence of a witness (who must print and sign their name, and also date it). They should also give their address and telephone number
You should also include:
a. a person to be contacted to discuss your wishes, with their contact details and state what their relationship is to you.
b, a healthcare professional that you have discussed this with, giving their job title and contact details.
c.permission for the document to be discussed with relatives / carers if you wish for this to happen
d. G. P. contact details
e. a list of people who have a copy and have been told about the Advance Decision
f. whether you have appointed a Lasting Power of Attorney (LPA) and details of this person, stating that you understand that they can override your written wishes in the Advance Directive.
Date, sign and have witnessed any changes or updates
Useful websites include:
Users Support Service www.userssupportservice.co.uk
Ministry of Justice www.justice.gov.uk
Department of Health www.dh.gov.uk
Help the Aged www.helptheaged.org.uk
Can't find what you want here? Email us with your query on
Enquiries@danceonmygrave.com
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